If it makes you unhappy, stop doing it.

For years, my husband would often wrap his arms around my sagging shoulders at the end of a long working day and murmur the same refrain: “If it makes you unhappy, stop doing it.”

My usual response was: “I can’t! It’s not that simple!” I was doing an important job that I had trained for and performed successfully. Working in a profession famed for heavy workloads, high stress, and an impossibly skewed work/life balance, I felt I had no other option. Determination and perseverance were qualities I valued and hoped to model.

Eventually, the pressures—many self-imposed—became overwhelming and I became ill. My misery was impacting my performance and my family. Something had to change.

In hindsight, this period of mental illness was a blessing. It forced me to evaluate my priorities and values. One evening, when Richard again advocated with sad, concerned eyes: “If it makes you unhappy, stop doing it”, I realized with lucidity that he was right. It was time to hold my hands up and let go. It was humbling but empowering.

You can find out more about Clare and Richard’s journey into self-employment here.

Happiness and Self-Employment

The Office Genie statistics show that business owners are 17% happier than the average worker. This doesn’t surprise me at all. Moving from employment to self-employment has seen our happiness rocket, and I can see it among my contemporaries too.

On 1st February, we celebrated the 1st anniversary of Talbot Jones Risk Solutions. Despite the risks, obstacles, fears, sacrifices, and stresses, we have had the happiest year of our life. Think Enterprise asked us to consider why.

Why We’re Happy

…What We Want

We aim for a solid, reputable, respected, profitable business that allows us to support our family. Seeing what we have achieved over the last year, knowing we’ve built it ourselves, is supremely satisfying. My self-confidence, respect, and esteem have returned. I feel proud of our boldness, resilience, adaptability, and achievements.

We have a simple plan with financial milestones for the short, mid, and long term. This gives us focus and a practical framework for implementing creative and daring ideas.

…The Way We Want

We don’t adopt a work persona of grey suits and grey words. Our brand reflects who we are and what we value. We wear what we’re comfortable in, speak naturally, openly, and honestly. We don’t have to put on a work mask—it’s refreshing and empowering.

…With Who We Want

We love working with small businesses and charities, especially start-ups. This is where we can add the most value: quality risk management advice from the outset offers firm foundations and security, and getting the right cover at the right price can be make-or-break.

We build relationships with people we like and trust, signposting clients when their needs are better met elsewhere. Everyone wins—positive relationships and a supportive community.

…When We Want

We work long hours, including evenings and weekends. Even on holiday, Richard logs on for urgent tasks. But when the opportunity arises, we can take the kids rockpooling or enjoy spontaneous moments together. Flexibility is key to our happiness.

…For Ourselves

Although we were offered external funding to launch our insurance brokerage, we self-funded and tightened our belts. The sacrifices are worth it. We don’t answer to anyone else, allowing us to sleep with a clear conscience.

Our creative thinking benefits our clients and drives our business. Working for ourselves means we don’t have to justify decisions—our conviction keeps momentum and enthusiasm alive.

The Balance We’ve Found

We don’t live to work, nor do we work to live. We do what we love, when we want, how we want, with whom we want. This approach has brought satisfaction, peace, joy, contentment, and fulfilment.

Our culture often encourages discarding or giving up too quickly, which can lead to disappointment. Careful consideration, reflection, and adaptation are essential when meeting challenges. Sometimes, change is needed to pursue the same goal. Other times, it’s right to let go.

One piece of advice: If it makes you unhappy, do something about it.

 Talbot Jones Risk Solutions is an insurance brokerage specialising in Charity and SME insurance. Get in touch if you'd value a free insurance review, advice or quotation and we'll be more than happy to help.